I've not posted for a couple of days.  I had much on my mind and in my heart concerning the fast.  I struggled in every sense of the word over the weekend.  After much consideration, prayer and counsel I have decided to end the fast.

There were several factors that played into my decision.  First, and foremost, this was a deeper commitment than I realized, and one that required so much more that simply not eating for a few weeks.  I am unable to separate myself from the demands of daily life, ministry, kids, spouse, home, etc.  The amount of rest required for something like this is amazing.  Rest is good, but I simply don't have the time at this point in my life to stop everything.  I was able to complete 14 full days, and I am okay with that.

It has become too much.

I had been contemplating this decision for the last couple of days.  I was energized by the amount of support and prayer and even eagerness people have shown in seeing me complete this.  But I did not want that to become my strength.  I did not move into this experience for the praises of man.

Was it worth it?  More than I can express in just a few paragraphs!  Will I do it again?  We'll see.  If I ever plan to do an extended fast again, I will work my schedule so I can have a good amount of down time.

I have gained much in a spiritual sense.  The more I denied my body, the more room was made for the presence of God to enter in.  There's been such a clarity in hearing His voice as I prayed and read through His word.  There have been things in my heart that have been put at ease.

A renewed focus!  A defined direction!  It sounds like a plan.  I love a good plan.

I had my first evening meal with my family in two weeks.  A simple green salad, and a bit of cheese pizza.  I nearly wept as I took the first few bites.  I became so grateful for God's provision in my life.  I thought again of the many people in this world who live with this physical feeling of hunger.  If you can do anything in this life, never let a child go hungry!  My heart becomes even heavier as I think of the many people in this world who are hungry and do not know the Lord.

May we utilized the strength and power we gain in our times of dedicating ourselves to God, and take this bread of eternal life we are served, and share it with those who hunger... that they man never hunger again!

I've been very lethargic today.  The reality is I need to be resting as much as possible, and I have been pushing myself too hard.  Lesson learned.

I've reached a very different place in this experience.  I've felt somewhat conflicted with the fact that I've been sharing this experience in a public way.  My desire is by no means to brag or elevate myself.  The physical feeling is nothing to brag about.  It's not a pleasant thing to deny my body what it needs.  Food!  My hope is to create a reference for those who follow Christ.  Each experience will most definitely be unique.  This is mine.

Spiritually, I am stepping into an arena I've never seen before.  There's a clarity that's deepening in hearing as the Father speaks.  As I continue to deny my flesh, it seems to be making more room for Him.

Today, I don't want to do this any longer.  But reading the last paragraph is a motivation to keep going.  To think that just a couple of weeks in I would have experienced such a depth makes me hunger to go even deeper.

I spent the morning in prayer and devotion.  It was beautiful indeed.  For the first time in the last eleven days, the Lord began to speak to me and reveal things to me in a very deep way.  There was none of this "I feel like the Lord is saying" stuff.  I know what He was saying.

The day was challenging in a lot of ways.  The question then remains, was I up for it?  It would be nice to go away for this time and not have to deal with the day to day issues life brings.  I realize that's not reality.  And so, I must face those challenges.

A very short entry.  The greatest part of today was the clarity I am gaining in hearing what God is saying.  There is also a deepening burden for those who either long to hear His voice, and for those who don't know Him at all.

I pray those who seek Him diligently and fervently may find him.

I'm 25% into this fast.

By the end of the day I felt as though I had crossed a threshold.  While much of my focus the last 10 days as been trying to get past the discomfort of what I am doing and fighting my mind into telling me to call it quits, I feel as though I have reached a place where those things have been made silent.

Yes, I have had a deep sense of spiritual growth over the last few days, but I cannot deny what my body and mind have been fighting.  It seems the physical importance and value of those things have begun to diminish.

I can now spend the next 30 days only focusing on the things of God.

My final thoughts of the day we're on Jesus.  We don't really know what went on during his fast.  There was no blog about his day to day experience.  I've gained a deep sense of appreciation for what he must have been going through.  He was in the wilderness.  Alone.  No comfort of a bed or climate-controlled house.  No bottled water.  No Bible to pick up at a moments notice or a journal to scribble his thoughts down.  He was alone.

I am burdened for the sense of loneliness he must have been feeling.  Though he walked this earth beyond that time up to his death, he spent so much time giving and ministering.  Yes, many showed him great love, admiration, and worship, but as people do, they forgot about him, and ultimately a majority called for his execution.

It makes me wonder if there is a place for loneliness in our lives.  Is it a place we may need to periodically come to.  When we are lonely, we look at the world in a  different way.  We examine our relationships.  We decide that once this desolate feeling ends that we will better prioritize things in our lives.

When we are alone, we realize the only thing we have is God.  This is the ultimate benefit.  We always have Him.  Our human nature and the busyness of life tend to pull us away.  A deep sense of loneliness and longing brings us back to that place of needing God.  It forces us to become intimate with the Father once again.

We may feel alone, but He is there.  Even though we may walk through these valley's of shadow and death, He is with us.

I'll take the good days when they come.  Today was one of those days.  I was unbelievably busy at the church today!  Add our mid-week activities on top of that and it makes for a long day.  I felt great by the end of the day, however.

I physically feel really good.  I am resting well and drinking lots of water.  No hunger.  I want to eat, yes, but the feeling of hunger is absent at the moment.  It's a strange feeling.

I've been encouraged by the support I've received over the last few days.  I've had many friends checking on me, and I appreciate those who have been following this blog.  With the strength of God carrying me through, and the support of my friends and family, I feel quite empowered to see this through.  Thank you.

Our lesson in children service tonight was about unity.  Particularly from 1 Corinthians 12:12-31.  I spoke of how we are all a part of the Body of Christ, and how our unique God-given roles and abilities should be used to their fullest capacities to make the body function well.  I brought it down to a kid level, of course, but the principle and point of the lesson remained the same.

I thought, when I came home, if the Body of Christ fasted - together in unity - how much more strength in unity would their be amongst our brothers and sisters.

I'm encouraged right now that my church is participating in this 40-Day experience.  All in different ways, but together, in unity, nonetheless.

I believe we will see God move in ways that we never expected, and I am eager and excited for the months ahead.

Please don't let me paint some picture that this is all just peachy.  What a great day yesterday was.  Today?  Challenge!  In every way.  I felt as though I might call it quits on this entire experience.  Enough was enough.

The battle for me is a mental one right now.

My body feels fine.  Great in fact.  No real hunger.  The energy it takes to keep my focus on this is enormous.  I feel the need to persist.  I physically am forcing myself to rest more in the evenings.

There is much that seems to be vacating who I am at this time.  A total stripping away, bit by bit.  Do I want do give up on this?  Right now, yes.  Will I?  I don't know.  I just know with God's help, I will carry on.

I called upon the Lord countless times today.  That has been my strength and my refuge.  He helped me complete this day.  I look to a new day where His mercies are new.  

One week ago today, I sat at a table with a group of friends having a great time, feasting, and celebrating the coming new year which was only a few hours away.

I knew the very next morning what I would be embarking upon.  What I didn't know was the deep effect this would begin to have on me.

Most of my day today was productive.  I was full of energy.  My cup runneth over with energy!  I was filled with some stresses.  A sick child, a very sick wife, and a near collision in my car.  Bad drivers!  As a former pastor of mine use to say... They just give you a chance to love Jesus even more.  Just your average Monday.

My body feels great.  I have had a slight headache throughout the evening, but overall I feel great.  The stiffness in my joints is completely gone.  I've not had back pain for several days now.  I've dropped nearly 20 pounds this week!  These are definitely the physical benefits of a fast.  At one point I felt like I could take off and run a marathon, but I know that would not be the smart thing to do.  In time.

I have such a sense of calm that I seem to have moved into.  My mind seems alert and my heart prepared to receive.  I am enjoying this place that I am in.  I prayed incessantly throughout the day.  Every little moment I was thinking of something, I was praying.  I was eager to get into the Word more.    I had a moment of struggle, when I cried out "Father walk beside me!"  I felt Him clearly speak to my spirit as He said, "I am here."

Such peace.

My reading tonight in Luke took me, again, to Jesus as he fasted.  The enemy did all he could to persuade Christ to give into the suggestions of appeasing the flesh.  To no avail!  Many may not realize, but it was a the end of his fast when this took place.  Precisely at the ultimate point of weakness.

Exactly how the devil likes to work.  We move into a great time of discipline and strength in our lives, yet he waits until our most weakest and vulnerable times to attack.  Brilliant on his part!  Cowardly as well.

I'm thankful to serve a God of great might and power, who sustains us and enables us, and gives us the power indeed to overcome the ignorance and cowardice of the enemy!

Comment below.  What have you overcome in your life as the enemy tried to lure you in?

I had a couple of friends ask about a statement I made in yesterday's blog.  I want to clarify what I wrote by saying this today.  Yes, I am fully expecting an encounter with God.  Maybe not in the "Third Kind" sense.  More so in a deep spiritual sense.

Day six was 85% a pleasant experience.  My body is close to fully accepting the fast.  There are some unpleasant things I wish would go away.  For one, there is a persistent bad taste in my mouth and my breath is foul.  I just brush multiple times a day and use mouthwash even more.  I hope that helps, but beware those who come close!

The battle today seems to be switching from a physical one, to a mental one.  While my hunger has subsided, turning at every corner and seeing people put food into their mouths was very difficult today. My body requires food to survive, and my brain keeps telling me to shove something down!  I have to firmly remind myself of where I am and what I am doing.  At one point I turned to my wife and said, "I don't want to do this anymore."

This is affecting my relationships as well.  Not in a bad way, but in a realistic way.  My friends realize I am fasting, and so they want to avoid conversations of food and any fellowships that involve food.  I am so grateful for the respect, and I have the best friends a man could ever ask for, but I suddenly felt in a very lonely place today.  This is part of the journey.  And again, this is my opportunity to draw near to the Father.  He is truly becoming my strength in all this.

Late into the evening I came to realize how important it is to bring my flesh and mind under control.  Once I can get past this phase, I believe the deep spiritual things I am expecting will begin.  While I am already experiencing a depth in my walk that I never have before, the excitement of what lies ahead keeps my anticipation high!

I have found a lot of support throughout this past week.  I greatly appreciate the prayers of my friends and family.  It is carrying me through each day.

Today has been quite calm.  I worked around my house, getting all the necessary chores done.  I even cooked a meal for my family with dessert.  It wasn't difficult at all, I just had to watch myself as I am so used to tasting as I cook.  No tasting today... and the family said the meal was delicious!

My body seems as though it is becoming accustomed to the fast.  I've not had any hunger pangs today.  My energy was up.  I slept quite well the night before.  I've been working on keeping myself hydrated. If anyone decides to take on any length of extended fasting, I can't emphasis enough how important it is to drink lots of water!

I've had a few people ask if I am expecting some kind of awe-inspiring supernatural event to take place.

No, I don't.

That's not to say it won't happen, but living this life as a child of God is amazing as it is!  I didn't decide to take this journey to have some sort of new age experience.  I've done this to create a level of discipline in my life, to draw closer to God in a greater capacity than ever before in my life, and to become more dependent upon Him.

Just five days in, and I can say I have most assuredly experienced that.

Today is a landmark for me.  I have completed three 5-day fasts in my life in years past.  Today marks my fourth, and I am moving into new territory as I see day six and beyond.  I am eager to experience the days ahead and to see what God has in store!

I cannot express enough what a challenge this truly is.  While I see this as a true call at this point in my life, there is no denying the sacrifice involved.

Today was a bottom to top day.  I did not sleep well at all.  I had crazy dreams the entire night.  I was up and down, and tossed and turned.

Physically, I woke up very thirsty, and very hungry.  I kept myself busy throughout the day to keep my mind off the discomfort.  My wife was a bit worried about me, but I assured her if I felt like I was hurting myself, I would end the fast immediately.

By lunchtime, I felt better.  I even sat at the table as my family had their meal.  I had a bottled water, and we had some great conversation.

Later in the day I took my kids to watch a movie.  As I entered the theater, the smell of hot buttered popcorn was almost enough to send me over the edge!  I thought perhaps I had made a mistake by walking through those doors.  It was a bit discouraging.

Later, as we watched the movie, a little animated fish (in the movie of course) reminded me as she sang, "Just keep swimming.  Just keep swimming.  Just keep swimming, swimming swimming!"

And so I swim.

My day was topped off with nearly three hours of reading God's Word and prayer.  My prayer time was amazing this night.  As if any time isn't, but I really did have a great time communing with God tonight.  I feel confident that He will guide me to the end of this.  I was moved as I sat for a time and listened and could feel Him speak to my spirit.  I feel so honored to be able to sit in His presence.

God is good!

By the end of the day my body feels comfortable, and my spirit feels renewed.  I am looking forward to the days ahead.

My day seemed destined to be challenged from the moment I awoke.

Physically, I felt fine.  My hunger seems to have subsided quite a bit, although my senses are fully aware of just how much food plays a part in our lives.  I smell it, I see it on the counter, I read posts about it, I hear about the last great meal.

I took some time during my day to try and understand what it really means to be hungry.  Even though I am not feeling it at this moment, I know I am, and my body tells me I need nourishment.  I can't imagine a child or any person being forced to live this way.  Living in a place where they fight for scraps or hunt for rodents.  It's literally survival.

And what do we do in our country of abundance?  We complain because the potatoes were over-salted.  We grimace at frozen lasagna or dry turkey.  I feel ashamed for my lack of gratitude.

Today was a ride!  I felt tossed around from top to bottom.  I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible headache, fell back asleep and woke up feeling great, continuing with a great morning and afternoon.

And then the evening came.

I struggled most of the evening.  Physically, not feeling hungry, but I am definitely feeling lethargic.  I tried my hardest not to "appear to be fasting" at church last night, but I was dragging.  It took a great deal of mental energy just to remain focused on getting work done.

I ended my late day for quite sometime in prayer.  The reality of what I have decided to do seemed to set in.  I was feeling it, and I was praying "God walk beside me over the next few weeks."  This is something I want to bring to Him, and for Him.

Father, help me through this time.  Walk beside me.  Let my focus be on you.

I've made it through the first day of my 40-day fast.  I can't help but wonder if it's okay to start counting down days or not?  If it is, then I've got 39 days to go!

Day one was a good day.  It was a low-key day.  Didn't go in to the office.  The kids laid around watching movies.  I spent some time working from home.  Not too much stress.

Physically I feel good.  Not too hungry.  My stomach did growl a couple of times as my wife prepared dinner for the kids, but nothing too serious.  No headaches or other physical complaints.

I spent a good amount of time in the Word this afternoon.  It was refreshing to read with a renewed purpose in my heart!  Something I feel convicted about and immediately plan to continue.

It was appropriate that our church reading tonight from Matthew 1-7 took me to the 40-day fast Jesus himself went through.  I became somewhat burdened as I realized the spiritual battle that was happening with him during this time.  In the same breath, great peace came to me with the words of Jesus in the same passage, "Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

I've always thought of that as Jesus saying, "I don't need food, I've got God."  Today it leapt out at me that the point really is, yes, we do need food.  We can't survive too terribly long without it.  So, what then is greater than our physical dependence upon food?  Our spiritual dependence upon God!

If we don't have food to eat, we die.  If we die without God, we live in eternity without God.

And so, then, every word that comes from the mouth of God is far more important than any morsel of bread that could go into mine.

Several weeks ago, I sat down with our Lead Pastor to share what you will read in the next few lines.

For several years now, I have had strong desire to participate in an extended fast.  A 40-day fast without food to be exact.  I have completed several two and three-day fasts over the years, and even three separate five-day fasts.  Forty days, however, has seemed like a monumental undertaking!

So why now?

My heart, mind, and spirit have been awaiting this very time, to somehow wait for the right time, to feel ready in some way.  I feel that time is now.

I sat with our pastor to fully understand and conclude that what I was proposing would be biblical in every way.  He assured me it would.

Why am I doing this?

While fasting is not a commandment given in God's Word, it is something that was common practice throughout scripture.  This is something I want to incorporate in my life as a follower of Christ, and as a minister.

There is a level of self-denial that needs to be experienced in my own personal life and to the benefit of my spiritual walk.  It's during this time of denial that I will expect to become dependent upon God in a greater way.  I will be incorporating extended times of prayer and devotion in God's Word during these next few weeks as well.

I want to share this experience with my church family as I go along.  Not to impress or show off in some way.  Jesus rebuked those who carried themselves to be noticed for their great spiritual feats.  I could care less about being noticed for not eating for a few weeks.  Food, in eating and preparing, is a love of mine as those close to me know, and cooking great meals for family and friends would be my preference if being noticed is what I truly desired.  I am a great cook!

I assure you, I have done a great deal of research on what to expect spiritually, mentally, and physically.  I will be submitting myself to my spiritual leadership for guidance and observation during this time.

Join me in some way with your own type of fast during the next 40 days.  Pray with me.  Let's seek out God's Word.  Let's lift up those in our communities who are lost and hurting during this time.  Let us yearn to be face to face with God.

Please follow our church, The StoreHouse, on Facebook or Twitter for weekly updates and guidelines to our 40-day fasting experience.