When I was twelve years old, my dad put my family on a bus in Los Angeles, California with a one-way ticket to Arkansas.  I wouldn't see him again for almost 25 years.

Father's day was a painful experience for me every year after that.  As if a daily knowing wasn't enough, the calendar would dictate an annual reminder of what was missing in my life.

When you don't have a father in your life, little things are missed.  I taught myself how to shave, how to fix a flat tire, and how to talk to a girl I really liked.

The most difficult of all tasks, was the day I became a father myself.  It was a difficult moment, only because of the fear inside of me.  I didn't know how to be a dad.

At twenty-four years old, I held my firstborn daughter.  In that moment, everything I knew and thought about fatherhood would change.  I looked into my little girls face and imagined what the next fifty years would be like.

In an infants eyes I could see her reach out to me as she took her first steps.  I saw her smile as she sang her nursery tunes.  I saw her walking down to receive her diploma.  I watched her grin from ear to ear as I walked her down the aisle on her wedding day.  I heard the joy in her voice as she laughed at the silliness of her own children.  All this in a moment.

I was scared that day.  I didn't know how to be a father.  Does anyone really?  I felt I had the additional burden of never having the example in my life.

I soon learned that fatherhood is a day to day, moment by moment experience.  I was just as fearful when my second child was born, but for different reasons.  I couldn't imagine how I would share the same kind of love for another child as I had for my first.  I figured that out pretty quick as well.  Plenty of love to go around.

I would be lying if I said I came out okay not having a dad around.  It was tough.  It's still tough.  I'll always have that emptiness.

What I have learned, is that even with the greatest examples around, the kind of person we become is dependent upon our choices.

I choose to be a good father.  I choose to be everything I never had to my children.  I choose to create wonderful memories.  I choose to love, and kiss, and hug my baby girls.

Somehow not having a father has made me a pretty good one.  I don't wish that on anyone.  So I would challenge every man with a child to be the best dad he can be.  The saying that "the best gift a father can give is his time" is so true.  Give it.

I dedicate this entry to my two beautiful daughters.  They have taught me how to become a father.  They have filled every void I ever had as a boy in my life.

Somedays I just look at them.  Then I smile.  I am a happy father. Read More

At some point kids grow up.  At which point in life that is has yet to be defined.

My lovely wife arrived to pick my daughters up at a friends house.  My oldest had been invited by one of the kids to stay over.  My youngest felt left out.  A classic scenario.

What to do?  Ah... bribery!  It always works.  As my youngest daughter began to shed tears from her big blue eyes, my wife intervened with an option.  Ice cream!

"We've got to go baby.  If you'll come with me we'll go get some ice cream," my wife extended with great hopes.

My almost five-year old child was suddenly struck with a deep understanding of what was really happening.

I suppose new connections within her young brain were made at that moment.  Neurons, brains cells, all that great scientific stuff.  We call it gettin' smart.

I could only begin to imagine her thoughts at the moment.  "Hmmm, if I calm down and decide I don't need to go with my big sister that would be the logical thing to do.  What would be even more logical, would be to go with the latter, and receive a delightfully creamy confectionary treat as reward for agreeing to not understand that I am being duped.  Hey wait a minute.... sounds like a conspiracy to me!"

It was a that moment she with her young mind and new understanding would say, "you just want to give me ice cream so I won't go with my sister!"

Well?  It was the truth, and my wife's conspiracy was now exposed for all to see.

Looks like we better find some new tricks. Read More

I've always heard that sleep was for people who have nothing to do.  I suppose that's justification for insomniacs.  Maybe it's not that people can't sleep.  I think they just don't want to.  That would be me!

I think my internal clock is off.  I was, afterall, born and raised for the first third of my life on the West coast.  Pacific time!  Now I'm on East coast time.  Three hours later!  In any case, 2:00 a.m. seems to be my cut-off time.  If I could sleep from 2:00 a.m to 10:00 a.m., the world would be perfect.  At least my world anyway.

For now, I must give in to the demands that 6:30ish a.m. brings.  Well, my kids are out of school for the summer, so I get a couple of more winks in.  I better enjoy that for the next couple of months!

Sleep is a good thing.  I seem to catch up on the weekends.  Not sure I get more done staying up so late.  I just know I like to stay up.

There is something great about being up late.  I can study or catch up on some reading, or watch a movie or two.  I find myself planning my days or weeks ahead of schedule.  And infomercials.  Man!  Don't we all need a grout cleansing power steamer or sausage-pasta-maker-mixer-thing!  Hey, you know you thought about it.  If only I could find that credit card!

My mind goes ninety-to nothing 24/7.  I'm constantly planning.  I can't help but think about the people of the world who want to accomplish so much in the life.  We only live once.  We only have one opportunity to make our mark.  What will you do with that time?  Sleep?

Nah.  Well, maybe just a bit. Read More

The task is great, but it’s achievable.  We’re in this to win!  Let's do this. Read More

All I heard was a loud snap.  It was the mixture of that sound you hear when you flap a saw in the air, a whistling whip, and the clashing of a wooden box hitting the ground, all mixed together.
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Over the last few months, I’ve had more one on one contact with missionaries from all over the globe than ever before.
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I wonder who was more freaked out when Jesus spoke those words that day?  Lazarus, or the people watching this entire event unfold before them?

I probably would have been aggravated if I would have been Lazarus.  C'mon... he was dead... he didn't have to "stress out" about life any more.  He was somewhere in heaven at peace.   And now, suddenly, he had to come back and do it again?

Evidently Lazarus wasn't finished.  Sure, people marvel at the story.  They mostly see the miracle of bringing the dead back to life.  I don't mean to sound simplistic.   It truly was a miracle.   One we should marvel at.  I'm more affected by what else Jesus was doing.

Yes, Jesus did bring life back into Lazarus... but to me, more importantly, he brought Lazarus back to his purpose in life.  I think it would have been in vain if Jesus had only risen someone from the dead... don't you?  Lazarus wasn't just brought back to life; he was brought back to his purpose in life!

It's kind of like what happens to us, sometimes.  Somehow, we get lost in this world.  Our minds become pre-occupied with everything that has to be done.  Before you know it... we're numb.  It's as if... well... it's as if we died.   In today's world they would place a defibrillator on our chest and shock the fool out of us to restore a heartbeat.

Maybe our hearts don't actually stop beating, but metaphorically speaking, sometimes we need to be shocked back into reality and brought back to life.

God will send people your way to perform such a task.  It seems then as the blood starts flowing, and our minds become clear, our focus returns.  Sure, it may seem nice to zone out for a while, it beats being stressed all the time, but we've got to return to what it is we have to do in this life.

Clear... KAPOW!!!  That was me shocking you back to life.  Arise.   Live.  Your purpose is at hand.

Lazarus, come forth! Read More

As a father of two daughters, I’ve learned that there are just some things I would have to learn to connect at a deeper level. So, I paint their nails. Yes, I do. I paint their nails. And, I’ve recently learned how to use a flat iron.

The hair part came out of necessity. My wife returned to the workforce, which created the all-new adventures of “Daddy Gets Daughter’s Ready For School, Which Means He Has To Help Them Straighten Their Hair.” Hey, I want my kids to look good!

My limit is once or twice a week, though. There's nothing like a hairbrush and a rubber band to save the day.

I wanted girls. I never was the avid outdoorsman, or the sports junkie type. I didn’t grow up in a home like that, so I never learned to enjoy those activities. I worried I may not have been adequate enough for a son. Of course, that’s not what makes someone adequate as a father. But, I was insecure. After I had two girls, I sometimes think I should have taken up hunting, and found a nice quiet deer stand somewhere. No guns necessary. Just me, a tree, and no estrogen!

You’d think being the only man in the house would have its benefits. Who knew that women had the right to commandeer your shaving cream and razors? If they would at least rinse the razor, I’d never know!

And as my girls grow older, their demand for my attention seems to increase. Who’s more special? Who’s prettier? Who’s your favorite? My answer is always “yes.”

There really is something special about having daughters. My heart aches at the thought of walking them down the aisle someday. Don’t girls marry people like their fathers? Oh, what fun that’s going to be! Two more of me at Thanksgiving. Well, they better know how to baste a turkey, that’s all I’ve got to say.

I’m truly fascinated at my girls. I love watching them grow and mature. The crazy emotions and mood swings, while not in the moment, do at some point bring a smile to my face. I imagine them with their own families someday. I picture them with their own children, in front of mirrors, talking about the day ahead, as they primp and brush.

It warms my heart to know in those tiny moments of the future, they’ll remember these tiny moments from the past. And just for that, I’ll paint their nails, and straighten their hair for as long as they let me.

Besides… nail polish smells pretty good.

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A friend of mine, this week, ended up with a clot in his arteries. It was a precarious situation. I watched as he spoke to each of his children, made peace with them and himself, just in case the inevitable happened.

I looked to my wife that night and said, "I've got to take better care of myself. I don't want to end up with problems like that." I woke up the next day, took a vitamin, drank a couple bottles of water, and had a double cheeseburger for lunch.

Oh it was so good. Drippy sauce, wilting lettuce, the tomato was warm, toasted bun, peppered grilled beef. You know what I'm talking about.

Apparently another man's near death experience wasn't enough to change my ways.

His experience was like that of any preacher on a Sunday morning, or some author trying to sell 27 laws on how to make your life better. Suddenly, he had a platform and a message. "Do This Or Die!"

Even the thought of death couldn't pull the cheeseburger out of my hands. Guess I'll try again tomorrow.

It's a choice to do better, to be better. It's a choice to listen to our pastor's on Sunday morning and maybe try and follow the, uh, little bit of advice that God might be trying to share through this person. It's a choice to try and figure out how to implement some of those laws our favorite best selling authors have penned.

Nope. They can't make you do it. That's the beauty of being alive. You have a choice. But it can be exhausting, and life can be a bit erratic by having such a "free-spirit" mentality.

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical (being in direct opposition), so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day.

Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

Not my words. Galatians 5:16-18. Maybe it's not so much a question of having the freedom of choice, as it is to have the choice to be free. Ah, I love it when you can flop a sentence around like that! Choosing to not give in to whatever weakness we may have is quite freeing in fact. Choosing to live by the Spirit of God is the ultimate freedom!

My friend is doing much better, thank God! And me? I'm in great health, except for a couple of extra pounds, so I'm not too concerned about the occasional cheeseburger. But that vitamin I took was terrible. Am I too old for chewables?

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