Life Realigned

What Is The Condition On Love?

2011-10-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

Every morning I drop my kids off at school. Every morning my six year old daughter looks at me as she exits the car and says, "I love you." She then blows me a kiss.

I'm not sure if she looks forward to going to school each day, as much as I look forward to catching that blown kiss every morning. It's a sweet gesture on her part. Innocent and genuine. It's one of those parent/child moments that warms your heart.

It's unconditional.

My daughter loves me... just because. Now, if you ask her, "why do you love your daddy," her response might be, "because he buys me food, clothes, and plays with me." At her young age, deep down, she doesn't really know why. She just knows she does. Because she wants to. Because she feels a great need to.

Only when our minds start to mature and begin to understand the rules to living do we begin to apply rules to how we love.

True, there are rules to life and living. Boundaries are necessary. But applying rules to loving someone is completely unnecessary.

Christ simplified the great commandments of old for us to understand and be able to fulfill what might have seemed rigid and legalistic. He did so with a word that seems to be a cure all. Love.

Love God. Love others.

Yes, there are rules that apply when it comes to God and to others. God has great expectation of his greatest creation. There are principles we must abide by as people of God. And yes, there are rules that apply to living with and amongst His greatest creation (i.e., your neighbors).

We should never, however, let those rules get in the way of how we love someone. In fact, when that becomes our first priority, it seems principle falls right into place.

I love my little girl. And someday she may break my heart. I know I've been a disappointment at times in my life to those who have loved me greatly. I could never stop loving my little girl. Even if she does break my heart. My love for her is unconditional. I will always let her know that.

God loves us just as much and more. We can and will disappoint Him. And yes, consequence is necessary when principle is broken. But He will always love us. Our love for Him should be unwavering. We should love him just as a child loves their parent. Perhaps with a general understanding of why... because He feeds us, clothes us, and walks beside us. Perhaps because we simply want to, and have a great need to.

That moment each day between my daughter and me is a great example of the love between God and man. With no condition on love. When nothing gets in the way of simply wanting to express how one feels, but deeply wanting to express that I'll be thinking of you all day, and I'll be here if you need me and when you get home, and no matter what you must know... I Love You.

The Vapor Of Life

2011-10-07T07:57:00.001-07:00

Steve Jobs, who in recent months stepped down as CEO of Apple, Inc., died just two days ago. He had been battling cancer for several years now.

It's always a bit surprising to hear when someone well known dies, but I must admit, I was truly shocked and saddened to hear this news.

Probably because I'm a die hard and loyal Apple fan and user. iPod, iPhone, iPad, MacBook Pro, iMac... Yep, I got 'em all and I love me some Apple!

When the king of a kingdom dies that you so adamantly support... and I am adamant... it is a bit surprising! You can't help but wonder what's next for the kingdom, especially when times have been so good.

It seems so superficial to worry about my gadgets when the loss of a great man and mind, a husband, father, and friend to people has passed from this life.

I awoke this morning to learn that the mother of a childhood friend had passed away just a few days ago. Now that hit me hard.

She wasn't anyone particularly glamorous. No fame or fortune. Never really fancy or foo foo about much. She wasn't someone who set out to be known or change this world in some dynamic way.

What she was... was good to me. She was joy and peace to me at a time in my young life when my world had completely crumbled. Twenty-six years ago I had been uprooted from my home and school outside of Los Angeles, separated from the security of parenthood by two bickering adults that parted ways, and transplanted 1800 miles away with my mother and sister to a small town in Arkansas in the middle of a rice field.

That's where Ms. Donna came in.

She was quirky. She had a big laugh. She had well water!

Yep. I spent 'many a day and night' with her family 'way out in the country!' That was truly the experience for a twelve year old kid who had just left the concrete jungle of L.A.! She convinced me well water was okay to drink. I just couldn't believe people did this. I thought all water came from the waterworks, not from a hole in the ground! She made me biscuits and gave me butter to drown them in. Yum! She yelled at her kids! I felt right at home.

I'm sad to learn of her passing.

I started off the week preparing a luncheon for a group of senior citizens. We celebrated the birthday of one sweet gal who had turned ninety-six years old. Wow!!! She was born in 1915. She drove herself to the lunch, and drove herself home. Amazing. I spent time listening to the advice of some well aged people that day. Lots of advice about living this life to it's fullest. Spending time with seniors will do you well. They never seem frustrated about the fact that their life is almost over. They in fact talk about it with great excitement! I guess almost a hundred years of living will do that to you!

I realize at this stage, my life is near half over. As each year turns, you seem to realize how quickly it passes. People you love and care for die. You bury your parents. You're forced to let dear friends slip away from this life. Did people die this often when you were a kid, cause I don't recall?

James 4:14 reminds us that "life is but a vapor." One translation calls it a "wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing."

The context of that scripture may actually seem harsh for many. We go about living life as we want, when in reality we should be focused on following the will of God in our lives. And life truly is short!

One day I will die. I don't want to, but I will. We all will. It's one of those events in life that no human being can avoid.

Rest Ms. Donna. I miss you mom, grandma, Wayne, Roger, Martin, and so many others that have left this life. The separation is difficult and seems so definite, but the burden of the blessed hope is one I carry. It enables me and the believers in this life to know that separation is also "but a vapor."

I was given the greatest advice by that 96 year old birthday girl... "Stay close to the Lord."

Thank you ma'am... I believe I'lI just do that.

What's Your Heart Saying?

2011-04-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

There are those who are unhappy. There are those who want you to be unhappy with them. Misery truly does love company.

A while back I was confronted by such a person. My initial thought was... "oh no they didn't!" Oh yes they did.

I was faced with making an instantaneous decision: To explode, or not to explode. That is the question.

I chose the latter.

I'm reminded of Luke 6:45. From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. While yes, my mouth spoke firmly and stood for what was right, there was no disrespect or discontent involved. That's not to say I didn't think about it... Mmmm... just a bit.

Jesus reminds us that you don't get figs from thorn bushes, and you don't get grapes from briers. Rather, a good person brings out the good that is in their heart.

Death was spoken towards me that day by the bitter words of what was truly in the heart of someone else. I was truly saddened. Not for me, but for the unhappiness of another.

Speak truth, yes, and be firm. Never fear proclaiming what God's word says, or standing for His principles. He is due that honor.

Furthermore, fill your life and your entire being with that truth. Out of that comes that peace, joy, and contentment we all long for. Our mouths are then filled with those promises!

Life is difficult. That's a fact. That's the result of our sin nature and living in this fallen world. But we can live a life pleasing to God, and truly live a life of happiness in the midst of the unhappiness of others.

Who knows? Your joy may just be the remedy one bitter person needs.

A Happy Father

2010-06-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

When I was twelve years old, my dad put my family on a bus in Los Angeles, California with a one-way ticket to Arkansas. I wouldn't see him again for almost 25 years.

Father's day was a painful experience for me every year after that. As if a daily knowing wasn't enough, the calendar would dictate an annual reminder of what was missing in my life.

When you don't have a father in your life, little things are missed. I taught myself how to shave, how to fix a flat tire, and how to talk to a girl I really liked.

The most difficult of all tasks, was the day I became a father myself. It was a difficult moment, only because of the fear inside of me. I didn't know how to be a dad.

At twenty-four years old, I held my firstborn daughter. In that moment, everything I knew and thought about fatherhood would change. I looked into my little girls face and imagined what the next fifty years would be like.

In an infants eyes I could see her reach out to me as she took her first steps. I saw her smile as she sang her nursery tunes. I saw her walking down to receive her diploma. I watched her grin from ear to ear as I walked her down the aisle on her wedding day. I heard the joy in her voice as she laughed at the silliness of her own children. All this in a moment.

I was scared that day. I didn't know how to be a father. Does anyone really? I felt I had the additional burden of never having the example in my life.

I soon learned that fatherhood is a day to day, moment by moment experience. I was just as fearful when my second child was born, but for different reasons. I couldn't imagine how I would share the same kind of love for another child as I had for my first. I figured that out pretty quick as well. Plenty of love to go around.

I would be lying if I said I came out okay not having a dad around. It was tough. It's still tough. I'll always have that emptiness.

What I have learned, is that even with the greatest examples around, the kind of person we become is dependent upon our choices.

I choose to be a good father. I choose to be everything I never had to my children. I choose to create wonderful memories. I choose to love, and kiss, and hug my baby girls.

Somehow not having a father has made me a pretty good one. I don't wish that on anyone. So I would challenge every man with a child to be the best dad he can be. The saying that "the best gift a father can give is his time" is so true. Give it.

I dedicate this entry to my two beautiful daughters. They have taught me how to become a father. They have filled every void I ever had as a boy in my life.

Somedays I just look at them. Then I smile. I am a happy father.

A Cold Creamy Conspiracy

2010-06-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

At some point kids grow up. At which point in life that is has yet to be defined.

My lovely wife arrived to pick my daughters up at a friends house. My oldest had been invited by one of the kids to stay over. My youngest felt left out. A classic scenario.

What to do? Ah... bribery! It always works. As my youngest daughter began to shed tears from her big blue eyes, my wife intervened with an option. Ice cream!

"We've got to go baby. If you'll come with me we'll go get some ice cream," my wife extended with great hopes.

My almost five-year old child was suddenly struck with a deep understanding of what was really happening.

I suppose new connections within her young brain were made at that moment. Neurons, brains cells, all that great scientific stuff. We call it gettin' smart.

I could only begin to imagine her thoughts at the moment. "Hmmm, if I calm down and decide I don't need to go with my big sister that would be the logical thing to do. What would be even more logical, would be to go with the latter, and receive a delightfully creamy confectionary treat as reward for agreeing to not understand that I am being duped. Hey wait a minute.... sounds like a conspiracy to me!"

It was a that moment she with her young mind and new understanding would say, "you just want to give me ice cream so I won't go with my sister!"

Well? It was the truth, and my wife's conspiracy was now exposed for all to see.

Looks like we better find some new tricks.

Superiority To The Sleeping World

2010-06-14T21:12:00.000-07:00

I've always heard that sleep was for people who have nothing to do. I suppose that's justification for insomniacs. Maybe it's not that people can't sleep. I think they just don't want to. That would be me!

I think my internal clock is off. I was, afterall, born and raised for the first third of my life on the West coast. Pacific time! Now I'm on East coast time. Three hours later! In any case, 2:00 a.m. seems to be my cut-off time. If I could sleep from 2:00 a.m to 10:00 a.m., the world would be perfect. At least my world anyway.

For now, I must give in to the demands that 6:30ish a.m. brings. Well, my kids are out of school for the summer, so I get a couple of more winks in. I better enjoy that for the next couple of months!

Sleep is a good thing. I seem to catch up on the weekends. Not sure I get more done staying up so late. I just know I like to stay up.

There is something great about being up late. I can study or catch up on some reading, or watch a movie or two. I find myself planning my days or weeks ahead of schedule. And infomercials. Man! Don't we all need a grout cleansing power steamer or sausage-pasta-maker-mixer-thing! Hey, you know you thought about it. If only I could find that credit card!

My mind goes ninety-to nothing 24/7. I'm constantly planning. I can't help but think about the people of the world who want to accomplish so much in the life. We only live once. We only have one opportunity to make our mark. What will you do with that time? Sleep?

Nah. Well, maybe just a bit.

We're In This To Win

2010-03-19T06:34:00.000-07:00

Even the dedicated pessimist cannot help but feel the energy released within a rally.

What is it about a group of a few hundred people coming together and getting excited about a cause?

I’ve been to plenty of conventions, seminars, and meetings to know people can get worked up real quick, especially when a few hundred other people are worked up as well.

It’s an invigorating experience.

Can you imagine watching a football game from the stands… all alone?

What a drab that would be. It’s much more fun and memorable with a crowd.

Hebrews 10:25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Being together with people watching the same race, fighting for the same cause, praying for the same outcome is motivating and encouraging.

The crowds don’t stay together too long, usually, but in those moments, a kindred spirit is shared. It suddenly seems okay to give a shout, clap a hand, wave, or jump up and down. An inward excitement for a deep passion is exposed in an outward, expressive way.

It’s the cause that benefits from these times, the purpose for which we have gathered: the team running towards to goal, the man running for president, the singer performing his masterpiece… or the lost soul reaching to find Jesus.

We become engaged in an outward excitement, showing an obvious support for the purpose at hand.

It’s important that we come together. It’s important that we unite to see the work of God happen. We must not abandon that.

It’s not about us. It’s about supporting the team fighting the battle against sin. It’s about seeing people led to the cross. We gather and show our support to enable this work.

We have charged Christian leaders with a great task.

As they fight on the fields of this world, moving closer and closer to the goal, let’s be sure we are there in the stands, showing our support, pushing them towards the mark.

The task is great, but it’s achievable. We’re in this to win! Let's do this.

The Key Of Snap

2010-03-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

All I heard was a loud snap. It was the mixture of that sound you hear when you flap a saw in the air, a whistling whip, and the clashing of a wooden box hitting the ground, all mixed together.

What was I going to do? I guess just smile and carry on.

I lead worship in my church every Sunday morning from a nice, shiny black grand piano. Feels good just to be sittin’ at it. I just love the sight, smell, and feel of a great piano.

It was the end of service, and as I was playing, one of my piano strings snapped. It flew across several more strings, in between a couple hammers, and a whole new sound was created altogether. It was a bit buzzy sounding.

Not only was a very important key gone, but because of it lying in between those other hammers, I was missing other keys as well. It felt like pressing the brake pedal in your car, and nothing would happen. Scary for a musician!

My left-brained ways kicked in trying to figure out how to remedy this situation.

I could jump up and run over to that electric keyboard that I so love (sarcasm inserted here), but that would create an awkward pause, and the people would see me shuffle across the platform. I thought about signaling to the sound guy, and having him play a CD. But he might play the wrong song. There’s nothing like the wrong song to ruin a great moment.

I decided to just sit tight. Who would notice, right?

About that time, my wife comes walking up and whispers to me, “I think there’s something wrong with your piano.” I replied to her with a nice big grin, and continued playing.

She looked at me as if I was kind of loco, you know, like… did you not just hear me? I bet she wondered if I even realized what was happening. Then I realized most of the congregation was acutely aware.

So I rolled with it. They rolled with it. It was as if everyone gave that ‘hmm, okay’ shrug. And we went on with the service.

My string hasn’t been replaced yet. Only one place in the entire country makes a string for that particular piano… at least that’s what the piano string guy told me.

I’m ready for my string. Those press-the-brake moments are a real downer for a worship leader!

Died And Deep-Fried

2010-03-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

I’m about to head out on a 600-mile venture back to Arkansas. It’s time to go home and visit the family.

There’s nothing like the South. Good food. That world-renowned hospitality. And catfish.

I love me some catfish. My aunt makes the best catfish in the world. Can’t wait to get by, visit her, and have some good grub.

You wouldn’t think you could mess something like that up. Let me tell you… it’s possible! I recommend leaving the cooking to my aunt. Just the right amount of seasoning, the perfect dip in cornmeal, and that dunk in a bath of hot oil provides me with an angels-in-the-heavens-singing experience of deep fried goodness. Not to mention the home fries she makes to go along with all that. Yummo!

I remember as a kid, someone gave me a catfish. He was fairly good sized, and that joker was alive! They told me to take it home, clean it up, and cook it. So, I exuberantly took it home and planned to do just that!

One problem. I’d never cleaned a catfish before. And to add to my list of never-before’s, I wasn’t quite sure how to, ‘em, help it see the light. You know, send it to that golden pond in the sky.

So, I jabbed a knife it’s head. C’mon… I was just a kid.

It seemed to work. It wasn’t moving anymore. But very quickly, I had a tough time getting that knife back out. So, there in my kitchen sink, I turned the faucet on and much to my surprise, the thing came back to life. At least that’s the way I remember it.

Several minutes and a black out later, it was dead. And, I cooked it.

All I know is that it wasn’t as good as I know my aunt’s catfish to be.

There’s a great lesson in this. For one, some things are better left to the pros.

Secondly… there’s got to be an easier way to kill a catfish.

A Call Of Passion

2010-03-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

Over the last few months, I’ve had more one on one contact with missionaries from all over the globe than ever before.

Being on staff full-time at a church has its perks. Yes, I consider it a perk. It’s a great honor, in fact.

Spending time in the presence of these men, women, and the children who sacrifice so much has left an indelible impression on me. It’s a choice, after all. They don’t have to do what they do.

A calling will do that to a person. It becomes a passion. Then you begin to wonder, what if they never went? What would become of the people whose lives they affect on a day-to-day basis? What if they just stayed around and lived the average, expected life.

That kind of questioning is something you just can’t shake off.

When you’re driven to do something, to follow a passion, especially for God, your life becomes almost unbearable until you finally just give in to. The consequence of a life unlived can be torturous to a soul. Always left wondering. Always asking, “What if?”

It really isn’t that complex. You only get to do this once. Live, that is. Why waste it?

Sometimes that’s easier said than done. At least we tend to think so. Life happens. People die. Jobs are lost. Even in the midst of pursing your call. Sometimes you just have to do, what you have to do to carry on and survive.

It bears asking, at what cost are you willing to pursue your call… your passion for God? Jesus did it all the way to the cross. It cost His life. But what would have become of us had he not pursued his call on this earth? His choice was for us, even in the face of death.

Just how far are you willing to go? Just what will you give up? Your call could be simple. It could be raising one child up to make a real difference in this world. It could be raising a multitude of leaders up to reach just one.

Whatever it may be, I urge you, pursue it, and never give up. Never give in. Look deep within your passion. It’s not always easily achieved, but it's always well worth the cost.

Lazarus, Come Forth!

2010-03-12T13:55:00.000-08:00

I wonder who was more freaked out when Jesus spoke those words that day? Lazarus, or the people watching this entire event unfold before them?

I probably would have been aggravated if I would have been Lazarus. C'mon... he was dead... he didn't have to "stress out" about life any more. He was somewhere in heaven at peace. And now, suddenly, he had to come back and do it again?

Evidently Lazarus wasn't finished. Sure, people marvel at the story. They mostly see the miracle of bringing the dead back to life. I don't mean to sound simplistic. It truly was a miracle. One we should marvel at. I'm more affected by what else Jesus was doing.

Yes, Jesus did bring life back into Lazarus... but to me, more importantly, he brought Lazarus back to his purpose in life. I think it would have been in vain if Jesus had only risen someone from the dead... don't you? Lazarus wasn't just brought back to life; he was brought back to his purpose in life!

It's kind of like what happens to us, sometimes. Somehow, we get lost in this world. Our minds become pre-occupied with everything that has to be done. Before you know it... we're numb. It's as if... well... it's as if we died. In today's world they would place a defibrillator on our chest and shock the fool out of us to restore a heartbeat.

Maybe our hearts don't actually stop beating, but metaphorically speaking, sometimes we need to be shocked back into reality and brought back to life.

God will send people your way to perform such a task. It seems then as the blood starts flowing, and our minds become clear, our focus returns. Sure, it may seem nice to zone out for a while, it beats being stressed all the time, but we've got to return to what it is we have to do in this life.

Clear... KAPOW!!! That was me shocking you back to life. Arise. Live. Your purpose is at hand.

Lazarus, come forth!

The Apples Of My Eyes

2010-03-09T23:45:00.000-08:00

As a father of two daughters, I’ve learned that there are just some things I would have to learn to connect at a deeper level. So, I paint their nails. Yes, I do. I paint their nails. And, I’ve recently learned how to use a flat iron.

The hair part came out of necessity. My wife returned to the workforce, which created the all-new adventures of “Daddy Gets Daughter’s Ready For School, Which Means He Has To Help Them Straighten Their Hair.” Hey, I want my kids to look good!

My limit is once or twice a week, though. There's nothing like a hairbrush and a rubber band to save the day.

I wanted girls. I never was the avid outdoorsman, or the sports junkie type. I didn’t grow up in a home like that, so I never learned to enjoy those activities. I worried I may not have been adequate enough for a son. Of course, that’s not what makes someone adequate as a father. But, I was insecure. After I had two girls, I sometimes think I should have taken up hunting, and found a nice quiet deer stand somewhere. No guns necessary. Just me, a tree, and no estrogen!

You’d think being the only man in the house would have its benefits. Who knew that women had the right to commandeer your shaving cream and razors? If they would at least rinse the razor, I’d never know!

And as my girls grow older, their demand for my attention seems to increase. Who’s more special? Who’s prettier? Who’s your favorite? My answer is always “yes.”

There really is something special about having daughters. My heart aches at the thought of walking them down the aisle someday. Don’t girls marry people like their fathers? Oh, what fun that’s going to be! Two more of me at Thanksgiving. Well, they better know how to baste a turkey, that’s all I’ve got to say.

I’m truly fascinated at my girls. I love watching them grow and mature. The crazy emotions and mood swings, while not in the moment, do at some point bring a smile to my face. I imagine them with their own families someday. I picture them with their own children, in front of mirrors, talking about the day ahead, as they primp and brush.

It warms my heart to know in those tiny moments of the future, they’ll remember these tiny moments from the past. And just for that, I’ll paint their nails, and straighten their hair for as long as they let me.

Besides… nail polish smells pretty good.

Would You Like Fries With That?

2010-03-09T07:20:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine, this week, ended up with a clot in his arteries. It was a precarious situation. I watched as he spoke to each of his children, made peace with them and himself, just in case the inevitable happened.

I looked to my wife that night and said, "I've got to take better care of myself. I don't want to end up with problems like that." I woke up the next day, took a vitamin, drank a couple bottles of water, and had a double cheeseburger for lunch.

Oh it was so good. Drippy sauce, wilting lettuce, the tomato was warm, toasted bun, peppered grilled beef. You know what I'm talking about.

Apparently another man's near death experience wasn't enough to change my ways.

His experience was like that of any preacher on a Sunday morning, or some author trying to sell 27 laws on how to make your life better. Suddenly, he had a platform and a message. "Do This Or Die!"

Even the thought of death couldn't pull the cheeseburger out of my hands. Guess I'll try again tomorrow.

It's a choice to do better, to be better. It's a choice to listen to our pastor's on Sunday morning and maybe try and follow the, uh, little bit of advice that God might be trying to share through this person. It's a choice to try and figure out how to implement some of those laws our favorite best selling authors have penned.

Nope. They can't make you do it. That's the beauty of being alive. You have a choice. But it can be exhausting, and life can be a bit erratic by having such a "free-spirit" mentality.

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical (being in direct opposition), so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day.

Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

Not my words. Galatians 5:16-18. Maybe it's not so much a question of having the freedom of choice, as it is to have the choice to be free. Ah, I love it when you can flop a sentence around like that! Choosing to not give in to whatever weakness we may have is quite freeing in fact. Choosing to live by the Spirit of God is the ultimate freedom!

My friend is doing much better, thank God! And me? I'm in great health, except for a couple of extra pounds, so I'm not too concerned about the occasional cheeseburger. But that vitamin I took was terrible. Am I too old for chewables?